How to Truly Accept Yourself

Self-acceptance is defined as “an individual’s acceptance of all of their attributes, positive or negative” . When we’re self-accepting, we embrace every part of ourselves, not just the “positive” things. Self-acceptance is unconditional—you can recognize weaknesses but still fully accept yourself. To be self-accepting is to feel satisfied with who you are, despite flaws and regardless of past choices.

The Importance of Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is closely related to happiness; the more accepting you are of yourself, the more happiness you can experience and enjoy. Other benefits include a decrease in depressive symptoms, the desire to be approved by others, fear of failure, and self-critique, as well as an increase in positive emotions, sense of freedom, self-worth, autonomy, and self-esteem .

Without self-acceptance, your mental well-being is likely to suffer. For example, you are less able to control stress and anxiety. The way we feel about ourselves impacts both psychological health and future goal achievement. Self-acceptance will help you achieve self-improvement! Research shows that high levels of self-acceptance can also lead to less focus on negative aspects of oneself and a higher likelihood of engaging in acts of self-love .

Nurturing Self-Acceptance

You can nurture your self-acceptance by engaging in the following tasks:

Celebrate Your Strengths: Acknowledge and take pride in your abilities and accomplishments.
Understand Mistakes Are Natural: Recognize that you and everyone else will make mistakes.
Find the Silver Lining: Look for the positive aspects in negative situations.
Develop Self-Compassion: Especially in difficult times, be kind to yourself.
Stay Positive: Write notes of affirmation or use an app that shares inspirational quotes daily (try Mantra: Daily Affirmations or Subliminal apps).
Avoid Comparisons: Don’t compare yourself to others.
Set Intentions: Psychotherapist Jeffrey Sumber, MA, suggests setting an intention to shift from blame, doubt, and shame to allowance, tolerance, acceptance, and trust .
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Engage with people who accept you and believe in you.
Help Others: Performing charitable acts can show you the positive impact you have on others.
Practice Gratitude: Write about what you are grateful for.
Express Your Feelings: Talk to others about how you are feeling.
Quiet Your Inner Critic: Adopt a mantra such as “I am doing the best I can right now.”
Acknowledge Accomplishments: Make a list of goals achieved and hurdles overcome; read this list when feeling down.
Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation: This meditation strengthens feelings of kindness and connection
Forgive Yourself: Take ownership of mistakes, reflect on lessons learned, and let go of the rest.
Stop Ruminating: Learn to stop dwelling on things you cannot change.
Grieve Unrealized Dreams: Allow yourself to grieve dreams that didn’t come to fruition.
Use PERT (Positive Emotion Refocusing Technique): When things get tough, take three long, slow breaths, focus on your belly, then bring your attention to the area around your heart and think of something wonderful in your life. Ask the calm part of yourself: “How could I better handle this difficult situation?”

What Is Self-Acceptance?

Self-acceptance is embracing who you are, without any qualifications, conditions, or exceptions . It is about acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of yourself. This complete acceptance is crucial because it is only by truly accepting ourselves that we can begin the process of meaningful self-improvement.

To begin working on yourself, the first step is unconditional self-acceptance. It’s relatively easy to accept ourselves when things are going well, but accepting ourselves at our lowest, with all our faults and flaws, is the real challenge. Therapist Russell Grieger emphasizes that unconditional self-acceptance means understanding you are separate from your actions and qualities, accepting your imperfections without judgment .

While self-esteem refers to how valuable or worthwhile we see ourselves, self-acceptance is a more global affirmation of self . Full self-acceptance lays the foundation for positive self-esteem and often goes hand-in-hand with it.

A lack of self-acceptance is related to lower levels of well-being and can even contribute to mental illness. Higher self-acceptance can act as a protective factor against these negative experiences. Therapists often encourage self-acceptance as part of the healing process, helping individuals separate what they do from who they are.

Practical Steps to Build Self-Acceptance

Look in the Mirror: Can you truly accept the person staring back at you?

Acknowledge Mistakes Without Judgment: Realize that making mistakes does not make you a failure.

Confront Negative Beliefs: Challenge your cognitive distortions and self-defeating beliefs.

Embrace Your Reality: Accept your current circumstances and yourself as you are today.

Self-acceptance is not an automatic state but a conscious effort to embrace all facets of oneself. By nurturing self-acceptance, you pave the way for greater happiness, improved mental well-being, and meaningful self-improvement. Remember, the journey to self-acceptance is ongoing and unique to each individual, but with patience and practice, it is achievable.

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